Sunday, April 18, 2010

Nervous

My body has clearly taken note of the impending (tomorrow!!) defense.  My stomach is kind of churning, and I have trouble focusing on anything right now.  This morning got off to a terrible start, which has contributed to my nerves.  In the wee hours this morning, I had to call the cops on my dumbass upstairs neighbor for refusing to tone down the party at 4AM.  Then, while I caught up on my missed sleep in the late morning, some douchebag spam artist hacked into my Gmail account and sent Viagra ads to everyone I know.  Hell of a way to start a Sunday, I tell you.

And I'm freaking defending tomorrow!  Jesus Christ on a bike!  How the fuck am I going to get to sleep tonight?  (Earplugs will help against noise, but this semester has been particularly rough on my serenity at bedtime.  Lacking a better plan, I'm having a few glasses of merlot -- enough, as I hope, to help soothe me to sleep, but not so much that I wake up hungover on exactly the wrong day for that.

I'd like to point out, by the way, that although I certainly don't relish having a hangover, I reserve the right to be hungover on Tuesday morning without anyone mocking me for it.

It's a rite of passage.  It's just a rite of passage in a well-understood progression of rites.

I will be fine.  I can do this.

I will defend my dissertation successfully tomorrow because there is no reason I should not.

*shakily pours second glass of merlot*

3 comments:

  1. It's going to go great, I'm sure. Remember, no one knows your work better than you do, and your advisor wouldn't have allowed you to defend if he/she didn't think you were ready. Kick ass, and enjoy your celebration and well-deserved hangover on Tuesday :)

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  2. You have a captive audience of intelligent people to listen to *you* talk about *your work* for (however many) hours. How often does that happen? Treat it as a gift.

    Courage!

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  3. Good luck--it'll be fine! In any case, it'll soon be over! And that means that it'll be fine! Yay!

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