I am still here, folks. The last few weeks have been some of the worst and most painful that I can remember since I was in the depths of dissertation despair. I've been so depressed and miserable that I couldn't work. Clearly,
that state of affairs cannot last if I want to keep feeding and
sheltering myself. I would like to think that I'm starting to come out of such low places now. I started seeing a therapist this week, who freely acknowledges that zi cannot solve my problems (no one could), but who hopes that zi can help me to work on some coping skills.
It took tremendous effort on my part to focus at all this week, but somehow I managed to complete the assigned reading lists and course packs for both my syllabi. And today, wonder of wonders, I actually did some fiddling with my book manuscript for the first time in months. (Without the stupid course packs hanging over my head, I felt better able to tackle the book.)
I don't want this blog to become a constant stream of doom and gloom. I think it may depress me as much as anyone else to read that here. Now that I have a professional to talk to about the bad stuff on my mind, I shouldn't feel quite as driven to use this blog for personal one-sided talk therapy.
In any case, though, I still have a penchant for posting music clips. That will continue indefinitely, have no fear.
It took tremendous effort on my part to focus at all this week, but somehow I managed to complete the assigned reading lists and course packs for both my syllabi. And today, wonder of wonders, I actually did some fiddling with my book manuscript for the first time in months. (Without the stupid course packs hanging over my head, I felt better able to tackle the book.)
I don't want this blog to become a constant stream of doom and gloom. I think it may depress me as much as anyone else to read that here. Now that I have a professional to talk to about the bad stuff on my mind, I shouldn't feel quite as driven to use this blog for personal one-sided talk therapy.
In any case, though, I still have a penchant for posting music clips. That will continue indefinitely, have no fear.
Oh, pal. I'm so sorry. This time of year isn't good for anyone, and if there's already a lot on your mind, it's even worse. Please don't abandon us...We want to know you're ok and offer our (blogger-style) friendship.
ReplyDeleteHere's hoping things get better soon.
What HM said. It's tough, too, to be in a new place and not have your peeps--or even places and routines that feel homey and comforting, and like something you can and want to build on. I'm glad you've got a therapist, though, and I hope the beginning of the semester gives you something to throw yourself into in a satisfying way.
DeleteThinking of you.
Hang in there! After all, it's almost time to celebrate the anniversary of our curfew breaking, satellite addicted, neighborhood barricaded, gunfire all night good old times!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are feeling better soon! And don't bitch and moan on the blog if it makes you feel worse, but also remember that some of us like reading about other peoples' complaints. I don't know why, I just do. Hell, I enjoy reading other peoples' to do lists as well --- I am crazy, I admit.
ReplyDeleteI have been watching Wallace and Gromit all day instead of working as my way of cheering up:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jvOTsi3i64
What they said. And music is always good therapy, yes? (Depending, I suppose, on the music...)
ReplyDelete