Tuesday, August 27, 2013

I wrote a book!!

It is written! It is shipped! I FEEL AWESOME.

Pity that I can't enjoy any real vacation after that, since classes start tomorrow. But you know, you roll with the punches. And honestly, it doesn't bring me down that classes start tomorrow. I have written a book. I have seen its voluminous pages neatly tucked into a Priority Shipping box and sent off to my editor. I have formally updated my CV to list the book as 'in press'. (This is the right term once it goes to copy editing, right?) I feel good, the rest of the world be damned.

So for a change, let's just have a little fun on this blog, shall we? :)

Flavia jokingly included a link to a recent post of mine as defensive citation, which just tickled me. Even if she and I worked in the same field, which we do not, she is quickly attaining the status of what my grandmother would call "a big macher," whilst I am...well, not nobody, but not much above that. The idea of someone of her status citing someone of mine defensively is frankly hilarious to me.

But her post reminded me that I have pulled off some mildly ridiculous citations in my book* that, if I'm honest, are there for one of three reasons.  These are, to wit:
  1. Another scholar is more famous and powerful than I, and I don't want to make an enemy out of that person — even if hir work is all but irrelevant to mine. (This is more or less what Flavia characterized as 'defensive citation'.
  2. Another scholar is a friend of mine, and I want to give them a tip o' the hat. This reason goes double if said scholar has been a friend of mine since our grad school days, or if zi directed me to some information that I found useful for the book.
  3. I thought it would be fucking hilarious to get away with citing it, whether or not it truly required a formal citation.
So for more entertainment, let's play a little game of Dr. Koshary's Ludicrous Book Citations.

1. How many old friends did Dr. Koshary cite just give them a shout-out, even though their work is relatively small-scale and largely irrelevant to his topic?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4
e. He stopped counting at 15.

2. How many of Dr. Koshary's citations qualify as 'defensive', as per Flavia's description, and/or sucking up to more powerful colleagues likely to read the book?
a. 5
b. 10
c. 15
d. He should have stopped counting at 20, before his face turned that red.

3. Which humorous music video did Dr. Koshary manage to cite?
a. 3-Way ("You guys are still here?")
b. Iran So Far ("...But you're in New York now, baby!")
c. Jack Sparrow ("Now back to the good part!")
d. Motherlover ("Every Mother's Day needs a Mother's Night!")

4. Despite proof-reading everything repeatedly, how many mistakes did Dr. Koshary find in the bibliography after mailing the package to the Press — in fact, while he was looking at it to find material for this post?
a. 1
b. 2
c. 3
d. 4

5. After discovering the answer to Question 4, what colorful language did Dr. Koshary just bellow to himself in his apartment?
a. "Fuck me and all of creation!"
b. "Son of a bitch!"
c. "Klatu verada nikto!"
d. "Goddamnsonofabitchbastardfuck!"
*Unless the Press' copyeditors force me to discard any of these citations as needless clutter, I suppose.


  1. Aw, you're sweet.

    But I'll bite:

    1. c
    2. b
    3. c
    4. b
    5. d

    And congratulations!

  2. I have nothing to say, other than this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Md7OvU5JIcI

  3. I'll take the quiz. I want to see the answers eventually, though.

    1. c
    2. d
    4. d
    5. a (because I like this one, and I'm going to adopt it as my go-to pissed phrase.)

    Well done, Dr. K! Hope, too, that you had a good first day of class. But then, who cares? Book! Yay!

  4. Congratulations!!!

    And my answers to the quiz:
    1 - c
    2 - b
    3 - d (please let it be d)
    4 - d (nice pop culture ref in c!)

  5. Cranking this post out was tons of fun.
    Don't let my cranky tendencies fool you; I'm still in a good mood from finishing.
    'Course, I have to start applying for jobs now.
    Ah, but that's another series of posts, isn't it?
    But I'll take care of that later.