Sunday, March 31, 2013

Selfish but happy

After several weeks of work, including
  • a spring break largely dedicated to my writing, 
  • a freaking 12-hour work day today, 
  • a case of tendonitis bad enough to warrant buying several little doohickies to wear on my arm so I could keep typing and cooking as needed,
  • and a serious case of cabin fever from sitting at my desk so damn much,
I completed the first draft of an article and sent it off to the editor for commentary.  Check out that writing meter over there!

Once that was done, I checked in on the family back in Hometown.  It was an almost unstinting parade of human misery, including a truly awful progressive disease, punctuated only by occasional plaintive acknowledgment of how far away from everyone I am.  I swallowed hard and got through the phone calls.

And then I made dinner.  And had a few glasses of wine.  And you know what?  I may be a horrible, selfish asshole, but the plain truth is that I'm still in a good mood as a result of finishing that article draft.  Does it make sense that I feel a little bad about feeling good?

Whatever.  I'm going to finish my wine and eat some lovely food I just cooked.


  1. I totally know what you mean ---- my parents called me this weekend after several weeks of me quite cheerfully ignoring them. I think my life goes better when I am not dealing with them but then I feel guilty for not dealing with them. What are ya gonna do, except drink some wine and enjoy yourself any way you can?

  2. Camus said that happiness doesn't make others' unhappiness any worse; it even helps you to fight for them. And if the existentialists approved of happiness, then I think we should enjoy it and not wallow in guilt or allow relatives to arrange guilt trips for us. I am sorry about the family situation, especially the progressive illness---those purely suck---but congratulations on the article, and do try to relax and enjoy the sense of accomplishment. Happiness good, guilt bad.

  3. Oh dude... don't let the family stuff ruin your writing high. But I get it. I got in a fight with my sister yesterday, and neither she nor my mother have called, texted, or anything to say happy birthday. My mom said yesterday, "Oh I had a card for you. Wonder where it went." And then didn't go look for it or anything. I'm ready to move far, far away again because being in the same state as this bullshit is highly overrated.

    That said -- congrats on putting the article in and getting some good work done. You deserve a pat on the back. :)

  4. Congratulations on getting your article out! I say celebrate everything :)