Friday, March 7, 2014

Writing strategies: The Hot Mess

I'm currently pursuing this strategy tonight to finish a research article that needs to be submitted ASAP.  I'll let you know how it works out.

Step 1: Get home from the office as soon as classes are over.

Step 2: During Step 1, lay hands on some of the chocolates that your colleague has thoughtfully laid out in the kitchen area.  Justify this to yourself by remembering that you have a grueling day of work ahead.

Step 3: Spend the next four hours dealing with unexpected personal drama that saps your energy.

Step 4: Wolf down your lunch at some point during Step 3.

Step 5: About an hour later than your caffeine addiction would require, brew yourself a fresh cup of coffee.

Step 6: Fuck around on the internet for an hour or so, because you just cannot deal.  Not now.  No.

Step 7: Pour yourself a stiff drink for the dual purposes of enjoying a Friday afternoon pick-me-up and numbing your mind to all that other shit that keeps you from focusing on work.

Step 8: I forget what eight was for.

Step 9: Write a blog post whining about how hard writing is.  (Meta, right?)

Step 10: Pour a second drink, crank up the music, and return to the goddamned writing.  Revise it into motherfucking brilliance.

This is the plan of a responsible grown-up, isn't it?

12 comments:

  1. You had me at step 8.

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  2. Heh. You're a Violent Femmes fan? That seems so quotidian for you. :)

    Sorry to hear about the dramatic day. God luck getting the article done! And don't forget about our date with Spanish Prof for the Ides of March!

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    1. And now you know (partly) why I am frantic to get this things over with!

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  3. I'm not seeing any flaws in this plan.

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    1. Good to know it passes peer review! And welcome to the blog, meansomething!

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    2. Thanks! It's nice to be here.

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  4. I approve of the stiff drink! How did your plan go for striking fear into the hearts of your students?

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    1. Don't worry, when I know, you'll know. That'll be a blog post of its own, for sure.

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  5. And ten, ten, ten, ten--for EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING.

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  6. Sounds perfectly normal to me.

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  7. I've used that plan.

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