Tuesday, February 12, 2013

The hell with this

Fuck online dating.  I'm completely exhausted by feeling like we all have to examine each other like products on Amazon, and by having dates that feel like job interviews.  (Even the good ones.)

Either I'll meet someone in the real world, or I'll die single and childless, cold and alone.  I know which I'd bet on right now, but hopefully that will pass soon.

In the meantime, I'm going to curl up in a corner and sniffle drunkenly until this week is over.


  1. If it's any consolation (and forgive me if it is not), Spouse met me after a particularly hard rejection by simply saying, "I'm not going to let this get me down. There are other fish in the sea." He actively sought out other interesting people, and the rest, as they say, is history.

    That said, you might end up with someone like me, so...buyer beware?

  2. Ugh. I'm sorry to hear that online dating is not going well. I met several people online before hubby -- at least four or five -- and none of them worked out. But then, one did. I do think that online dating has taken a different direction since 1999, though. From what I hear, it does feel like a job interview. Weird.

    Maybe getting involved in community events would help you meet some more people. You know -- like the supper club. (Although I know that some of those people are super awkward.) Wonder if our JCC does anything interesting...

  3. Not that you necessarily want/have time to do more reading, but I hear book clubs are a great way to meet members of the opposite sex.

  4. My personal belief is this: You need to approach online dating like you don't give a shit. Every few months, get drunk and send a bunch of messages out into the ether. Brief messages, along the lines of "Hey, what's up? I think you look cool and if you think the same about me, get in touch, and then we'll go out on a date." And then get back to your actual life. It's a shotgun approach. No, it doesn't always have great results, but when you hit the target, it's grand. Also, if you don't hit the target, you won't feel rejected. (This is the only wisdom I have, from YEARS of online dating, but I can report that it seems to have worked exactly once. And I don't feel like shit about it, and I haven't felt like shit about online dating since I began that protocol.)

  5. You're a dude, right? So, real-life events with a sex ratio skewed in your favor: book clubs, yoga or pilates classes, ballroom dancing (or folk, but in my experience that skews a little closer to even numbers). Listen to an old Dame!

    1. I do know a number of gentlemen who found mates at dance things (swing, ballroom etc.)

  6. Dr. K! You know I did a ton of online dating before I re-met my husband (whom I've known since junior high, as you know) and it was always depressing. After we got together, he showed me his online profile. There is NO WAY IN HELL I would have messaged him, let alone met him for a drink or dinner. He sounded TERRIBLE, and in no way did he come off like himself. It's so hard, I know. I want to tell you to be less "discerning," but that can also be terrible advice. I think you are fabulous and brilliant and wonderful, and I suppose this comment is just to remind you of that. LOVE! - Andrea

  7. If you want to do ballroom dance, I know someone who goes on Tuesday nights. I could get the info. (You wouldn't be interested in her I think. But dancing might be fun.)